Sarah Z

A favour, if anyone is reading this I need help with a diet plan.  Need to loose 7kgs but need easy prep foods as at the moment don't have to much time which is why I need help.

He doesn't sleep much during the day but mum bought us a baby swing and it has been a lifesaver, at least I can put him in there most of the day and he will dose or just look around.  He hates the pram but I just figured out why today.  We went to a xmas party and after feeding him I put him in there.  He just screamed.  We have a phil and ted so the toddler sit is above where Bailey lies.  He can't see anything so of course when I took the toddler seat off he could see a whole new world.  He sat in the pram for 2 hours just looking around.  Now this is so different to the screaming child I had 2 weeks ago so things are really falling into place.  I actually have time now to sit and have a cup of tea.

Need to get this diet under control though.  Every Monday I start and after a couple of days it just goes to shit.  I am weighing 62kilos and need to get to 55.  I know many people are probably thinking this isn't bad 5 weeks after giving birth but I feel like crap and won't my body back.

On another note mum starts chemo tomorrow and I am feeling more positive about this situation.  Hopefully this fixes it all.  The hardest thing is having no support at this terrible time from mum and dad.  Don't get me wrong its not all about me I am just so emotionally drained from the trouble with Bailey to this cancer with mum and it just gets hard sometimes carrying all this around and trying to go to doctors appointments with Bailey and having a toddler going through the terrible 2's who I just need someone to look after sometimes as he gets so bored and naughty when I take him.  Anyhow, mentally so far I think I am ok no post natal depression so far so fingers crossed.

I have been in Freo hospital the last 2 days with Bailey and his constipation, more so for observation.  They sent me home yesterday as Bailey was so good while we were in there but I'm at my wits end.  Call it a mothers intuition but I know there is more to it than an unsettled baby.  He has no sleep and when I do manage to get him settled its like he squirms in his cot every 5 mins with a look of pain on his face.  I have called the hospital back today and told them I'm not happy and I know there is more to it so just waiting for the doctors to call me back.  We have made an appointment with our doctor so I can get a referral to another pediatrician for a second opinion and also just to see what the GP has to say.  I am also going to make an appointment with an osteopath as I have heard they can do wonders.  I'm up for anything at this stage and need to get this sorted.  I am also going to ring Kalyeeya back and make an appointment with their peditatrian for a 3rd opinion as I know there is a waiting list to see mine and I can't wait that long.  I am on a mission.  The poor little thing I still reckon he has reflux as I can see the signs just like I diagnosed Jay with it.

I need this to get sorted as he needs his sleep as well as me and hubby.  I reckon he is sleeping all of 4 hours over a total of 24 hour period and I know he really wants to he is just in pain.  At the hospital they reckon he is just sorting himself out and it will die down but I don't think so, babies are smart creatures and I know he is uncomfortable not just trying it on.  

If anyone has any other ideas please let me know.

On top of that I am really sick.  Came down with this cold/flu thing and can't stop coughing.  Had it for a week now and went to the doc's yesterday for some antibiotics.  I think the lack of sleep and what is going on with mum has caused this.

Well one more week off and then back to the gym for me.  It is going to be so hard to get into a routine until Bailey gets into some sort of routine but I am just going to have to be flexible about the whole thing, its just hard to think of training in the evening when you are so darn tired from just a couple of hours sleep each night, but I think getting back to the gym will do me good.  I have 9 kilos to loose.  I also need to find a trainer or online trainer before next Monday to really get my arse into gear.

Got a makeup job today and have to take Bailey as originally mum was going to look after him but she is in hospital so I just hope he sleeps the whole time.  Fingers crossed.

Bailey has settled more at least now he is sleeping a few hours at night.  It was so different with Jay he only woke twice a night right from newborn.  You forget what is like and how different each baby can be.  Anyway only breastfeeding a little bit mainly the bottle now my boobs just can't cope with it.

Will get back to the gym in 4 weeks.  Two weeks down, two weeks to go.  I have been trying to walk a little each day but the weather has been crap and to be honest I am just so tired after chasing a toddler around plus looking after the baby.  Once he has settled into a better routine and my body gets used to being without carrying a baby I should be fine.

Also just found out mum has cancer so i am beside myself at the moment.  I am emotional anyway after having a baby and this just tops it off.